Addicted to Eating

Hey all…still here and still thinking about things to post.  I have code experiments on the back burner waiting for work to get a little less busy so I can polish up the examples…but the bulk of my spare time goes towards working out these days.

I don’t mean I’m spending hours on end working out (well…maybe on grappling days)…but the whole process of working out really takes any extra energy out of me that I previously was using to do my coding posts…so, I’ll get around to them…but I’m trying to keep in the habit of posting something at least once a week…so this week it’ll be about my struggle with eating.

I can tell you without hesitation…of all the addictive things I’ve done in my lifetime, nothing compares to the pull eating has over me.  Time and again it has won the battle for dominance over my body…as I’m sure one day it will again defeat my resolve and determination.  If I don’t constantly watch what I’m doing I can and will mindlessly eat my way through any amount of food…entire family sized pizza’s…bags of chips…tubs of ice cream…all have fallen victim to my binges.

I’m a good streak right now.  I have good support to lean on in weak moments.  I have a powerful goal that helps keep me focused.  Even through all that the demon claws at me begging me to fill my face with endless calories.  But November is only 6-7 months away and my goal of getting to below 300 before competing is within my reach…actually getting below 280, which is what I weighed when I graduated high school, is within my reach.  That would be very weird to be in better shape at 43 than I was at 18…a good weird.

As long time readers will know I attribute most of my current weight loss to my working out.  I put a lot of effort into it.  I burn through a ton of calories.  I’m very serious about getting something out of it everytime I put effort into working out, because I HATE HATE HATE doing it…so I better get something out of it for my trouble.

What I had been doing is just eating normally while working out like crazy…and that worked for a while.  I started to stall in my weight loss though so I then cut out eating fast food.  That made a huge difference.  Apprently that stuff is bad for you, who knew.

Well…that only worked for so long as well and I began to stall once again…so now I’ve added cutting back the amount I’m eating into the whole equation…and I’ve again started to drop pounds…but the eating addiction has started rearing it’s ugly head.  Hungry or not I often think of snacking.  😦

It’s taking a lot more determination than I thought it would to resist eating…it’s even harder to do then not listen to MJK music.  Every extra second I have my mind drifts to thinking about stuffing something in my face.  Ugh…will I ever be rid of this addiction.  My whole life it’s been a monkey on my back.  I’d seriously consider having the procedure done if they knew a place in my brain to zap with a sodering iron or something to kill the eating addiction section of the brain…hmmm, maybe that’s how zombies are made.  😉

Anyway, enough complaining for now…as of the moment I’m winning the eatting addiction battle and I’m at 304 pounds (starting from an estimated 360).  That’s victory enough for today.  Hope this has inspired someone to hold the demon at bay!

Addicted to Eating

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